Amongst other stress related issues. The life I am currently trying to save is that of my seven year old cat, Mechikatsu, or Menchi for short. She enjoys walking on the railing in our second story loft in our house and as of late she has been falling off the railing into our first story living room. Most of the time she has been lucky enough to get up and walk away from it but a few days ago she fell again and broke her foot. We took her to the emergency room where we found out just how nastily she broke her foot-she's torn her tendons and ligaments to high hell and chipped some of her bones. The vet told us she was going to need surgery which I knew I most likely wasn't going to be able to afford since for two months both my mother and I had been unemployed during which we were living off my savings and the car needed serious repairs, that too, came out of my savings. I never told my mother exactly how much of my savings had went to supporting us while we were jobless so she was still of the mindset that I had thousands of dollars, which was horridly wrong. I had about a grand left when Menchi fell and broke her foot. I knew the vet was going to be terribly expensive, and not because I wanted to see my cat die but because I knew it'd probably be all I could afford, I was going to opt to have her put to sleep. Aside from falling off the railing alot, Menchi has had other health issues and currently she's suffering and I want nothing more than that suffering to end. Instead of asking me wanted I wanted to do in regards to my own cat, my mother decided to go ahead and schedule her for surgery, and THEN got an estimate for how much this surgery was going to cost us-scratch that, since it's really me footing the bill in the long run, but anyhow the surgery costs $1700. That's the maximum end of the estimate, but wherever money is concerned I always go towards the max end of it. When I was told this, I had already prepared to ask the vet to just have Menchi put to sleep-but once again since my mother was with me she decided to go ahead and do this thing, WITHOUT ASKING ME, still thinking I had thousands of dollars. God, mom, yes, I save and skrimp every little penny I can get my hands on so I can have back up money in case shit goes down, and the biggest shit of all lately was my car needing repairs and we had no jobs. My savings went to shit pretty fucking quick so now I have no money to save my cat because my savings went into the family. I was totally prepared to have Menchi put to sleep because I KNEW I didn't have the money and nor did anyone else so A) it was the cheaper thing to do and B) it would end my cat's suffering. But NO. My mother didn't ask me what I wanted to do about my own cat, even after I TOLD her I most likely wasn't going to be able to afford it, and she still told the vet to go ahead with the surgery.

What the hell Mom. And now my mother's crawling up my ass but how she always has to save everyone from their crisis and what have you when I was prepared mentally days ago to have my cat put to sleep, HAD I BEEN ASKED or LISTENED TO when I SAID I COULDN'T AFFORD IT. I WASN'T JOKING MOM.

Luckily I do have a job now, but it's only minimum wage, part time. Mom is employed too, but she's already talking about quitting her job. I understand it's hard on your knees to stand all day, but sometimes you just have to suck it up. Which she'll readily tell me or anyone else, but if you tell her that she'll reply, "I'm done sucking it up, I had to do that in the military."

To frost the cake, I found out some of the bills were past due today as well, while my mother was going on her tirade of having to always bail people out. It's really ironic when she's the one who put us in the spot with the surgery and the cat.

Despite all this, lately, I've really wanted to draw and draw. Perhaps it's a desire for escapism?